Sunday 26th February 2017 BEFORE… Today is ’emergency scan day’. I had been dreading this day since my appointment letter was pushed through the door and had dropped on to the mat a couple of weeks before. I ripped it open as soon as it did and I remember feeling so upset that it had fallen on a day that meant Matt wouldn’t be able to come with me. The one scan I probably needed him to come to the most would be the one scan in our whole duration of being parents that he would have to miss. I don’t know if this is just me, a mum thing or something else but I accepted it pretty quickly. I stood tall, put my shoulders back and vowed to bulldoze through it by myself and for our baby. I wasn’t going to rearrange the appointment. The almost four week wait…

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Tuesday 31st January 2017 We saw our baby again this afternoon. In one breath, it was incredible. I had been counting down the days to see my little one again. To check in, check how much baby had grown… to see the little life growing in my tummy move around and be. Words can’t describe the feeling that I get in my heart when I see my baby on the screen above me. It feels like it’s just me and my baby in the room. Everything going on around me becomes a blur. I can’t properly hear the medical jargon that the Sonographer mumbles under his breath. The silence that hangs in the air around his concentration is irrelevant. I just lay there on the bed, gripping Matt’s hand and watching the screen in amazement and complete awe. I feel like I have to remind myself to breathe in these…

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