To My Dearest Little Ellenah,

It is the night before the birthday at which you will turn three years old. Very much like the past year, today has been colourful. Today you have shown me every mood, thought and feeling that you possibly could. From having to leave your ballet class halfway through because you were feeling a touch moody, the regret you felt hallway down the road because you wanted to ‘go back ooh dancing ooh join in’, the speed in which you offered to pick up a bag that I had dropped, offering me your last sweetie, the slight sobs because you were feeling tired and your ‘legs go a-bed’, the sweet smile on your face when you were catching some 3-o-clock, forty minute zzzzz’s, the rage that you demonstrated when you didn’t want to leave Nanny’s house and the whole-hearted face squeeze and snogaroo that you gave me at bedtime, surrounded by the words ‘I love you Mama’.

This year, you may have studied the term and become the definition of the ‘terrible two’s’… and ran with it… no doubt away from me… with me running behind you begging you to hold my hand and be calm and happy. But this year I have learned that behind the tantrums and scowls, there is just so much more to you Ellenah. 

Ellenah's 3rd Birthday Eve

Little One, sometimes you don’t show the people around you, even the ones who love you, just how amazing you are. You really are quite sensitive, weary and when you are being a bit bossy and kind of mouthy, you are actually quite shy. You are very much a one on one kind of girl, big crowds and strangers aren’t really your thing, in fact I think they make you quite nervous and your outlet of expression is to be a bit of a pickle. The confidence to simply be yourself will come in time, I am confident in that.

Do you know what? I don’t care! I know that you will not always feel this way. You are strong-minded and committed to what you think and feel. If you take anything with you from your childhood in to your life, I hope that it will be these qualities. You are from a family, full of confident, strong-minded and independent women, I hope that you will be one and you won’t let anybody push you around, deter you from what you think or feel or make you question the person that you are. If the journey that you are on leads you to being that kind of person (which I don’t doubt that it will) I for one will be incredibly pleased. 

You have started speaking a lot within the last couple of months. It was a bit of a slow start, what with your made-up/ french/ chinese/ american slang language that you had going on! It must have been quite frustrating for you at points. I did try my best to understand you, I promise! Now, we have some absolutely wonderful conversations. It is so nice (and I feel a little emotional thinking about it) to be able to talk to you. One day, if and when you are a mother, you will often ask yourself questions like- ‘I wonder what they will be good at, sound like, look like, be when they grow up?’… And, now I know what your voice sounds like. Some days you don’t stop talking… and I could listen to you all day long. You really are very funny! Everybody who knows you thinks so.

Sweetheart, you have grown a little bit more hair this year- it’s finally happening- Yay!

Regardless of all of the talk of tantrums and cheekiness, you are a beautiful human being. I am absolutely proud that you are mine and I have completely one hundred percent got your back. To me, you are perfect in every way. As much as I am looking forward to the day that we can laugh about all of the two year old anguish this past year has hosted, I am looking forward to being a part of each and every second of your journey, nothing makes me happier than being your Mummy. This year may have had its hard points but the good completely outshines all of it. This may sound slightly odd but it has really hit me in the past few months that I have a daughter… and how wonderful that feels. I have a little girl who I will love completely, every moment of every day. I have a princess who I have a duty to, to ensure she loves herself, inside and out and I have an obligation to protect her as well as prepare her for the times in her life that she will fall and things may hurt her or make her feel sad. I have to be her outlet to encourage her to get back up when she gets knocked down and I have to be there with my arms open wide when she has P.M.T and needs chocolate and wine when she is older. I demand myself to be that Mum to her… 

Ellenah's 3rd Birthday Eve

Happy 3rd Birthday Els Bels,

I hope your birthday is as great as you are and now that you know what a birthday is, I hope you will remember this day for the rest of your life. 

I love you so very much and just so much more than you will ever know.


x Mummy x


A Letter To My Teenage Daughter

After another amazing Tuesday with my beautiful two year old daughter, for some reason I started wondering what she will be like as a teenager. I wondered what advice I would give her in years to come as she approaches such a critical point in her life, so I thought I would jot it down… Maybe I will need to refer back to it, who knows….

To my Ellenah,

Now that you are a teenager, I can imagine your emotions are a little all over the place. I imagine you are worried about what people think of you (probably and especially boys!). I imagine that the way you look has become important to you and I imagine that your friends are the best thing since sliced bread. As for us, your family, we get on your nerves, treat you like a baby, we probably say things like ‘you’ll understand when you are older’ and we invade your space often.


I remember being a teenager like it was yesterday. So I just want to tell you… It works out right in the end. You may think that nobody understands you and I used to feel the same.  The truth is, they probably don’t understand, not completely. What I do understand is that whatever is making you feel angry, sad, emotional or freakishly happy… it is important to you, therefore it is important to me too. As we grow we close doors on the reasons we have learned the lessons of life, our priorities change and we forget how hard being a teenager is. The important thing is that you know that I am always here to listen. I truly believe that there is nothing that we can’t talk through together to make you feel better about yourself and to make sure that you are happy. You are not now nor will you ever be alone….


What I hope that you will learn through your teenage years is that the way that you look and what people think about you does not validate you as a person. As long as you are beautiful on the inside, that is what is important. Always treat people how you want to be treated and always be kinder to people than you feel. 


So, before you raid Superdrug or Boots for a foundation that is two shades too dark and you look like I did (a hot mess), or you dive in to the new make-up craze ( lilac or white Dazzle Dust was mine, I looked awful!) I will just say… Make-Up is fun and an interesting way to express yourself so when the time is right, we will enjoy that madness together, I will look forward to that. BUT, don’t let it define you, you don’t need it… you are perfect without any of it.


Boys…eurgh!!! Can I still get away with telling you they have fleas and you should stay away? Didn’t think so. I can understand that getting a boyfriend could potentially be the most important thing in your life. Damn your hormones. I will always believe that no boy or man will ever be good enough for my little girl (yes you will always be my little girl!). However, I was your age once and my high school boyfriend lasted three years. Some was good, some was bad. As much as I won’t ban you from having a boyfriend, I will ask you to talk to me about it and the way that you are feeling. I am not a hypocrite and believe it or not, I was young once. Try to protect your heart… it is fragile and not everybody can be trusted with it. You are special, know your own worth and never allow yourself to be anybody’s second best… You deserve more. Another thing, enjoy this time but don’t expect too much… The world is a very big place and there is no reason that you need to settle for anything less than world domination. After all “Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world” – Marilyn Monroe.


School… Thought I best sneak this one in and I’ll make it quick. Go to school……..

I didn’t, I did quite well but I could have done better. Knowledge is power and you are too young to give up on yourself already. Get as much education that is offered to you because believe it or not, you are very lucky to have it. NEVER dumb yourself down… your Mum has spoken.


Your friends… pick a good bunch. It’s always better to have a couple of real friends than a group who you can’t trust or don’t appreciate you. Don’t succumb to peer pressure and don’t ever be afraid or ashamed of who you are. Nobody else can be you any better. Don’t follow the crowd and don’t waste your time trying to lead anybody… be an individual and hold your head up high. You and your feelings matter, you are important… the friends who love that about you and the ones who don’t try and change you, keep hold of them, they sound like good eggs and you will cherish them in your adult years.


And us, we are your family and we love you very very very very much. We are annoying, we will check on you a lot and we sometimes tell you ‘you will understand when you are older’. It is all from the best place in our hearts. We love you and we still want to protect you from the world. After all, you are all of our Baby Girl and you always will be.

A Letter To My Teenage DaughterAll of the love in the world Bella Roo

x Mummy x