I’ve been waiting until I had the courage, to dive into a dark place and explain what has happened to me… to then have the strength to leap back out of it and carry on living out my new chapter. I still don’t know how I’m going to do. I feel like I’ve lost my voice. Like writers block, except I’ve almost got too many words to make sense of. Too much to say. Too many feelings. Too much happiness. Too much rage. Too much growth. Too much sadness. Too much fear. Too much freedom. Too much of myself back. Too much fire in my soul. Too many questions. Too much sass to filter any of it. Too many things that I still don’t understand. Too many things that I do…but wish I didn’t some days… perhaps?! My life changed. Suddenly. One minute, my beautiful family and I were skiing…

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Wow! 2017… What a year? I mean, in 2017, we completed our beautiful, crazy team and became a family of five… So it is definitely one of those years that will take some beating. It was a whirlwind though. A real knock you off of your feet, months in a bubble of loveliness, high on life, Holy shizzle kind of whirlwind. It started off feeling difficult. Well actually, the first half of it was really hard. Exhausting. Overwhelming. A struggle. I’m not ashamed to admit that being and feeling constantly sick during my pregnancy, wore me out. I remember the day that I made my pregnancy announcement video. I wanted it to be so beautiful because nothing that I went through affected the love that was growing in my heart for my baby. I felt like the luckiest person in the whole wide world and I couldn’t wait for this…

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It was my 30th birthday on Friday 14th October and I was beyond spoilt. I was made to feel so special by my wonderful friends and family and had such a lovely day. I mention it a couple of times throughout the video but this is not me showing off. We are a very humble family when it comes to gifts and usually opt for making memories by doing things together rather than lavish presents. However, this year it was a bit of a milestone. Turning thirty has always been such a special idea to me and everyone went all out. So I just wanted to share the lovely things that I was given with you. I love watching these videos for inspiration and because they are my guilty pleasure. I hope you like it? If you did, click on the video title. This will take you to the video…

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I know that this photograph isn’t clear, crisp or in any way perfect… but this is me and my Dad at my 30th birthday on Friday. It came from us talking about when he held me thirty years ago as a fresh newborn. And off the cuff, he said, ‘Let’s do it again!’ So thirty years on and much heavier than I was back then, my dad scooped me up for a photograph for the memory book. It was funny, we laughed and then I rested my head on his shoulder, giggling like I’m sure I have plenty of times over the years. I love this photograph so much (even though, he is never allowed to do it again because he suffers a bad back sometimes!) I’m glad we managed to get this one. It’s a perfect picture to start a new chapter of memory making. With Love, -Ria x…

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I have started writing this from the comfort of my bed on a grey but brightening Saturday morning. Saturday the 15th of October, the day after my 30th birthday. I feel content, in a sleepy bliss from the lovely day that I had before. I woke up first, in the dark and I lay there with my thoughts. Thoughts about turning thirty. My sister calls these the ‘who gives a f*ck’ years and after spending many years caring a little too much about what people might think, might say or might do, I’m over it. I’m finally confident enough in myself to just be happy with who I am, the decisions and no doubt, the mistakes that I make. It’s empowering! So anyway, there I was, alone with my thoughts… being all thirty and that. Waiting in the silence to suddenly feel like a grown up. For the mental clarity…

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