Noah's 6th Birthday Eve

Dear Noah,


How am I the mother of a very nearly six year old boy? When I first held you in my arms and looked down on your perfect little face for the first time, six years ago, this moment felt so very far away. I felt like the parents of six year old children were refined, not very much like me at all. The parents of six year old children enjoyed a glass of red in the evenings and they knew which cheeses they liked most. Parents of six year old children are so very mature, well travelled and can probably speak a few languages by this point in their parenting journey.


Well my Darling, that is not who you have as a mummy. This mummy enjoys splitting a smoothie with you while we appreciate a good babybel together and seeing what we can make out of the wax. We’ve holidayed…sure but we aren’t what you would call well-travelled…not yet my boy! We adventure though, we explore… and nothing beats watching you lead the way with a trusty stick. 


We are simple. And watching you enjoy and appreciate the little things that life can offer you if you just take notice is one of the things that I have enjoyed most about you in this past year. You are learning what compassion really means and as much as you push boundaries (which by the way, you absolutely should be!) you have a good moral compass. You are a good person. Smart, kind-hearted and forever my little ray of sunshine.


Everybody loves you.


You are interested in the world. Interested in life and I hope that as you grow, older and up…you forever have this zest for life and willing to live life with abundance. You have spirit and charisma and I like it that you have something to say for yourself.


You question me, challenge me and you teach me. You teach me about life through your eyes. I am very grateful to you for that. For you. For your time.


You are beautiful. So very beautiful.


This year, you have achieved such wonderful things. You won your very first medal in gymnastics. You earned it. You are flying at school and show up every day with energy and a smile for all.


You are happy.


You make me unbelievably happy.


You remind me how blessed I am every day when you kiss me on the forehead and say ‘Good Morning Mama…I Love You’… Oh, sweetheart, I love you too, every single second of every single day until forever and just so much more than you will ever know.


I can’t believe that I have already been lucky enough to love you with all of my heart for six years and just so much longer. Before I met you, you had my heart… and that love grows every day… it gets bigger and bigger. Some days I feel like I could burst!


I hope you have the happiest birthday son. I hope you it is as special to you as you are to me. May your dreams come true and you spend the day surrounded by the ones who love you the most.


The world is always brighter and better to me because you are in it and I can’t wait to see what ‘ The Year That You Are Six’ will bring.

Too Much Love, Mummy x

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To My Dearest Little Ellenah,


It is the night before the birthday at which you will turn three years old. Very much like the past year, today has been colourful. Today you have shown me every mood, thought and feeling that you possibly could. From having to leave your ballet class halfway through because you were feeling a touch moody, the regret you felt hallway down the road because you wanted to ‘go back ooh dancing ooh join in’, the speed in which you offered to pick up a bag that I had dropped, offering me your last sweetie, the slight sobs because you were feeling tired and your ‘legs go a-bed’, the sweet smile on your face when you were catching some 3-o-clock, forty minute zzzzz’s, the rage that you demonstrated when you didn’t want to leave Nanny’s house and the whole-hearted face squeeze and snogaroo that you gave me at bedtime, surrounded by the words ‘I love you Mama’.


This year, you may have studied the term and become the definition of the ‘terrible two’s’… and ran with it… no doubt away from me… with me running behind you begging you to hold my hand and be calm and happy. But this year I have learned that behind the tantrums and scowls, there is just so much more to you Ellenah. 

Ellenah's 3rd Birthday Eve


Little One, sometimes you don’t show the people around you, even the ones who love you, just how amazing you are. You really are quite sensitive, weary and when you are being a bit bossy and kind of mouthy, you are actually quite shy. You are very much a one on one kind of girl, big crowds and strangers aren’t really your thing, in fact I think they make you quite nervous and your outlet of expression is to be a bit of a pickle. The confidence to simply be yourself will come in time, I am confident in that.


Do you know what? I don’t care! I know that you will not always feel this way. You are strong-minded and committed to what you think and feel. If you take anything with you from your childhood in to your life, I hope that it will be these qualities. You are from a family, full of confident, strong-minded and independent women, I hope that you will be one and you won’t let anybody push you around, deter you from what you think or feel or make you question the person that you are. If the journey that you are on leads you to being that kind of person (which I don’t doubt that it will) I for one will be incredibly pleased. 


You have started speaking a lot within the last couple of months. It was a bit of a slow start, what with your made-up/ french/ chinese/ american slang language that you had going on! It must have been quite frustrating for you at points. I did try my best to understand you, I promise! Now, we have some absolutely wonderful conversations. It is so nice (and I feel a little emotional thinking about it) to be able to talk to you. One day, if and when you are a mother, you will often ask yourself questions like- ‘I wonder what they will be good at, sound like, look like, be when they grow up?’… And, now I know what your voice sounds like. Some days you don’t stop talking… and I could listen to you all day long. You really are very funny! Everybody who knows you thinks so.


Sweetheart, you have grown a little bit more hair this year- it’s finally happening- Yay!


Regardless of all of the talk of tantrums and cheekiness, you are a beautiful human being. I am absolutely proud that you are mine and I have completely one hundred percent got your back. To me, you are perfect in every way. As much as I am looking forward to the day that we can laugh about all of the two year old anguish this past year has hosted, I am looking forward to being a part of each and every second of your journey, nothing makes me happier than being your Mummy. This year may have had its hard points but the good completely outshines all of it. This may sound slightly odd but it has really hit me in the past few months that I have a daughter… and how wonderful that feels. I have a little girl who I will love completely, every moment of every day. I have a princess who I have a duty to, to ensure she loves herself, inside and out and I have an obligation to protect her as well as prepare her for the times in her life that she will fall and things may hurt her or make her feel sad. I have to be her outlet to encourage her to get back up when she gets knocked down and I have to be there with my arms open wide when she has P.M.T and needs chocolate and wine when she is older. I demand myself to be that Mum to her… 

Ellenah's 3rd Birthday Eve

Happy 3rd Birthday Els Bels,

I hope your birthday is as great as you are and now that you know what a birthday is, I hope you will remember this day for the rest of your life. 

I love you so very much and just so much more than you will ever know.

From

x Mummy x

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Originally Written 16/12/2014

Dear Noah,


How can you even be five tomorrow? It doesn’t feel quite right. It truly feels like yesterday that I first met you, In the bedroom of our old house, surrounded by paint pots and hot mess because we hadn’t long moved in… and we were in the process of decorating your nursery!!


We have come such a long way since that day. I truly couldn’t wish for a better relationship with you. You are honestly my best little friend. 


The past year has been a big one in your life. You closed a chapter on pre- school and you started school. My Darling, you have stormed it! Believe me when I tell you that I’m crying as I type this, I am so so so so proud of you. We may not have the best of everything and we may not shower you with material things but as long as you know that I love you, more than words can say and you keep bringing me pieces of scrap paper with words that you have written by yourself… We are rich, we are wealthy and my sweet boy, we will always be happy. 


This year, you have learned the importance of telling those you care about that you love them… you must have because you tell me over and over again, every day. We argue about who loves each other more. I am pretty sure I love you most but you always say “Please can we love each other the same?”…  You are quite articulate like that… and very sweet!!


In your first few years, I would always question myself. I would always wonder if I was giving you the right tools, to learn and to grow. This year, I have seen just how smart you are. Nothing seems to phase you and you ask me questions that I can’t get my head around sometimes, or questions that I am afraid to answer. I don’t want to tell you why the world sometimes goes wrong, I don’t want to be the one to harden you… not that I think the world could, you seem to take it all in your stride and you always say something that makes everything a little better. You truly are my Sunshine!!! As long as you keep shining bright, nothing can bring me down.

Noah's 5th Birthday Eve

You are fresh. When you learn or experience something new, I feel like it is the first time I am. You are enthusiastic about such simple things and I idolise you for it. I hope you always see the world that way.


You are imaginative. I could watch you play for days on end and listen to your stories forever. What melts my heart the most is that not only do you still involve me but you always see me as a main character in your games and your stories. I am completely honoured to be a part of it. I wish that you will always keep me that close to your heart. You will always and forever be that close to mine.


Sometimes, when you play rough with your sister or you leap around on the furniture as part of your game, I forget that you are still so little. I tell you not to treat our home like that and that when it comes to Ellenah, you should know better… shame on me!! These years, quite evidently go too fast so you should be free to play, it is good for you!! And, it isn’t always your fault that Ellenah gets hurt, she gives as good as she gets and I couldn’t stop her from playing rough with you if I tried, she loves you as much as we do! She looks up to you and wants you around all of the time, even when she pushes away your constant attempts at kisses and cuddles, if you stopped, she would wonder why!! Sometimes, I treat you like you are older than you are, sometimes you act it… From this point on, please just be five and I will take care of the rest.


You are growing up to be a wonderful, beautiful person. You have a good and pure heart. You are charismatic and kind… and so generous, like I will always give away my last Rolo… you will always give me a pink love heart from your Harribo Mix-Up. I hope you always stay that way… You really are perfect.


I am so happy to be the person you come to when you are sad. When you are sick, it’s me you call for. When you want to tell someone about you day… you choose me.

I feel so privileged to be your Mummy and I love you so very much.

Happy 5th Birthday Sweetheart

I hope it’s as special as you are

All of my love

The biggest hugs and too many kisses

x Mummy x

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Originally Written 01/07/2014