The days that I gave birth to all three of my children, gave me the three best stories that I will ever tell. My three favourite stories of all time and all three, so different from each other… Just like my babies. In the throws of labour, the adrenaline, the pain, the intensity, the excitement and the fear, I think every mother wonders how any woman can forget a single second of it. You swear that you will never forget how much it hurts your body, how it takes everything that you have got, to get through it. You don’t understand how other people tell you that you will soon forget it once you have your baby in your arms. You think that they must be mad. I’ve forgotten already! Not everything of course but the reality of having Dexter in my life now has made every second of birthing…

View Post

Two weeks went by so fast. Today Matt had to return to the real world, the working world. He will be there until 7pm tonight. Our new baby bubble has to change. My family has to settle into a normal life as a family of five. I don’t know if it is because Dexter is our last baby, our family is now complete and we won’t be doing this again… but I didn’t feel ready today. When we said goodbye to each other this morning, I could feel my eyes sting and the tears threaten to fall down my cheeks. I don’t feel ready to go solo just yet. I’ve been enjoying our time together too much. It has been bad enough saying goodbye to Noah and Ellenah every morning as they run off to school and in to class for the day and now we have to say goodbye…

View Post

I am so proud to FINALLY announce the safe arrival of our beautiful baby boy. His name is Dexter James Langner and he was born at 1.55am on Tuesday 4th July (USA’s Independence Day). He weighed a whopping 8lb 9oz and was born in our tiny bathroom, at home. He has been absolutely incredible and a dream come true. Noah and Ellenah absolutely adore him and he has stolen all of our hearts. It is insane how much time you lose just staring at your newborn… but, I wouldn’t class a single second of it as wasted. I am going to be writing a detailed account of his birth story here on the blog over the next few days… or as soon as I can steal myself away from our newborn bliss for enough time to do it justice. So watch out for that if you enjoy a birth story…

View Post

Written On Saturday 1st July 2017 I haven’t made it to ‘full term’ of a pregnancy before. Noah arrived in 2009, bright and early in week 36. Ellenah showed up in week 39, a week before Christmas in 2011. This baby boy is not only full term, he is now late. Having to tell people, ‘Nope, he’s still cooking’ when I walk by them with my baby bump in tact and they ask, ‘No baby yet then?’… It’s damn soul destroying. I waddle along now. My body is getting bigger by the day. My slight frame feels like it is buckling under the weight. Struggling with the pressure on my organs. I feel like I’m falling apart in the heatwave of 2017. Pregnancy doesn’t look good on me like it does the other Mama’s. They glow, I sweat. They have thick, swishy hair, mine is shoved in a top knot.…

View Post

To my beautiful boy, Noah – On the Eve of your eighth birthday These letters are becoming harder to write each year, without breaking apart. Some people say that you are most emotional as a mother, when your children are babies and the moments fly by so quickly. I find each year that you turn a new age much harder. Back when you were a baby, you needed me for everything. I was the centre of your whole world. You didn’t question me. You didn’t question yourself. You didn’t need much else, other than me and my time. The older you get and with each birthday, I can see the look in your eyes… that need for more. You want more freedom. You want to experience more. You crave life and you want to explore all of the things that you are capable of, all of the things that you…

View Post