Written at 34 weeks pregnant… when I didn’t feel like I was doing very well   Dear Noah, There are so many things that I want to say to you in this moment. I want to tell you how proud of you, how grateful, how in awe of you I am. The first thing that comes to mind when I think of you right now though, is the words ‘I’m so sorry!’. I feel this deep, aching need in my heart to hold on to you so tightly and to apologise over and over again until I’m certain that you have heard me. I’ve never wanted you to have to accept this version of your mama, to understand her, to be so fiercely loyal to her. I’m not proud to be her and I don’t really know how you can look at me like you do. Like I’m the best…

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This is absolutely one of the video’s that I am most proud of making. Not only did it feel amazing to share the wonderful news of the sex of our baby but it brings back memories of such a lovely day. A day when I felt like a beautiful, glowing pregnant woman. The way that every woman growing a human deserves to feel. x

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