Last night, as my beautiful daughter allowed me and only me, to scoop her up in to my arms as her eyes felt heavy and she admitted defeat that she was feeling sleepy, I could feel my heart soften with complete and overwhelming love for her.
She threw both arms around me and held on to me so tightly, like I was the only person other than her on the planet. She snuggled her baby soft and squishy cheeks into my collar bone and yawned. The smell of her milky breath floated out into the air and at that moment, she opened her big blue eyes and stared in to mine, blinking heavily to fight away a night of hopefully, beautiful and magical dreams.
I lay my beautiful child onto her bed and as her puffy, woodland creature covered, pink duvet enveloped her petit frame, I could see her shudder at the thought of not being snuggled up into my arms. I could see her shiver as the slight chill surrounded her and as her eyes softly closed, she reached her plump, little hand out for me to hold. And that I did!
The feeling that she did not want me to leave her prevented me from simply walking from the room and closing her door gently behind me. I sat on the edge of her bed as her breathing slowed into a calm, peaceful rhythm. I watched the corners or her mouth twitch and her bright blonde eyebrows flicker. I could see her falling deeper into her dreams.
I held her little face in my hand and stroked her little cheeks gently so not to wake her. I scooped her wispy, blonde hair away from her eyes and back in to her natural side parting, tucking it delicately behind her ears.
I sat and I watched her.
I watched her just be. Just exist. In all of her perfection.
I’m not sure how long I sat there, just looking at my little girl.
My little girl who is bold, funny and bright. My little girl who imitates me and challenges me in all of the best ways. My little girl who is cheeky, adventurous and curious. My little girl who will push her boundaries, know her own mind and in the most complicated way, is the sweetest little diva I could ever be blessed to call mine.
She is everything that I could ever want from a daughter and as I kissed her cheek and left her to sleep last night, I felt so very thankful that she is my little lady.
In the hustle and bustle of every day life, I think it is important to really appreciate the special moments between us, like going for a long walk fresh from the school run, before some would even be awake and before the morning dew could dissipate. Like yesterday morning! We took in some of the countryside which hosted many of my childhood memories. We talked and we breathed in the fresh air of a beautiful morning. We greeted dog walkers and joggers who were starting the day surrounded by nature and peace and we spent some time observing the horse riders doing their daily rounds.
When I dropped her off at pre-school, I leaned down for a kiss goodbye and she held my face in both hands and said thank you for taking me to see the horses Mama, you’re the best! I love you sooooo much’… Needless to say, I skipped off on my merry way feeling pretty good about life.
Photographs, filming and the crazy world that is the internet has become a wonderful part of our family journey, a part which we all love. But, I absolutely realise the importance of recognising the moments away from it all so that I can soak up, hold on to, cherish and protect them – these moments that matter so much to me!
Squeezes and Love
x Ria x