The first days with Baby Dexter went by in a heartbeat. Why is it that your best moments go by so fast? I found myself throwing myself into every single second to try and absorb this precious time with every part of me. I stopped looking at my phone, I stopped knowing the time and I stopped thinking about anything other than him and my little family. I let myself relax under the heavy cuddles of his relaxed body against my chest as he slept there. I fed him on demand and held onto both of his hands while he did. I stroked them as he gripped my thumbs for comfort. It was the sweetest thing and I hoped that it would be one of the lovely things about our breastfeeding journey that would stay, so I wouldn’t have the chance to forget it in time. I stroked his hair…

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Ellenah starting school is naturally something that I want to remember. Something that I would like her to look back on and remember too. So I tried my hardest to capture as much of the day as I could in a vlog (on my second channel). This new chapter for us both has at times made me feel afraid, made me feel sad, made me feel awfully strange…As bittersweet as it is, I am truly excited for her. I am excited about being a part of this new adventure for her. I’m excited for the school plays, school projects, school trips that I will nominate myself to chaperone…The school disco’s, church service’s and sports days. In years to come, I want her to know that we chose a place that we believe to be right for her. A place that will make her happy. A place that she will enjoy…

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Dear Noah (My Beautiful Boy), The sun has been shining lately and there have been blossoms on the trees. The world has started to look so beautiful after a long winter. This morning after a splash of rain, a cool release from the heat over the weekend, Ellenah and I walked back from the school run without you. We walked quite slowly. Ellenah because she is small and wanted to look at the snails which were on the move. Me because like every week day morning, I miss you. I especially missed you today. I missed you because while Ellenah crouched down low, taking all of the time in the world to look at the snail which I held in the palm of my hand for her, it hurt my heart that you were not there. You would have loved that snail. You would have made up a story about…

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I have always been so proud of the routine that we have in our home. I have always persevered to achieve the perfect bedtime routine. In bed by seven, in own bed, through the night!!!!! Dinner times have run like clockwork, again persevering with fussy eating phases so those tummies are full. I’ve always declared myself as firm but fair and I have needed the naughty step for those terrible two’s and threenager explosions. As much as I know that I am not a perfect mother, I try my best! I try my best to raise good people, so that they understand that life comes with its boundaries and rules and so that they can grow up happy and safe in their decision making.   I was twenty two years old when I had Noah and I was up against it. The judgement from people around me, from people expecting…

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