Noah’s 5th Birthday Eve

Dear Noah,

How can you even be five tomorrow? It doesn’t feel quite right. It truly feels like yesterday that I first met you, In the bedroom of our old house, surrounded by paint pots and hot mess because we hadn’t long moved in… and we were in the process of decorating your nursery!!

We have come such a long way since that day. I truly couldn’t wish for a better relationship with you. You are honestly my best little friend. 

The past year has been a big one in your life. You closed a chapter on pre- school and you started school. My Darling, you have stormed it! Believe me when I tell you that I’m crying as I type this, I am so so so so proud of you. We may not have the best of everything and we may not shower you with material things but as long as you know that I love you, more than words can say and you keep bringing me pieces of scrap paper with words that you have written by yourself… We are rich, we are wealthy and my sweet boy, we will always be happy. 

This year, you have learned the importance of telling those you care about that you love them… you must have because you tell me over and over again, every day. We argue about who loves each other more. I am pretty sure I love you most but you always say “Please can we love each other the same?”…  You are quite articulate like that… and very sweet!!

In your first few years, I would always question myself. I would always wonder if I was giving you the right tools, to learn and to grow. This year, I have seen just how smart you are. Nothing seems to phase you and you ask me questions that I can’t get my head around sometimes, or questions that I am afraid to answer. I don’t want to tell you why the world sometimes goes wrong, I don’t want to be the one to harden you… not that I think the world could, you seem to take it all in your stride and you always say something that makes everything a little better. You truly are my Sunshine!!! As long as you keep shining bright, nothing can bring me down.

You are fresh. When you learn or experience something new, I feel like it is the first time I am. You are enthusiastic about such simple things and I idolise you for it. I hope you always see the world that way.

You are imaginative. I could watch you play for days on end and listen to your stories forever. What melts my heart the most is that not only do you still involve me but you always see me as a main character in your games and your stories. I am completely honoured to be a part of it. I wish that you will always keep me that close to your heart. You will always and forever be that close to mine.

Sometimes, when you play rough with your sister or you leap around on the furniture as part of your game, I forget that you are still so little. I tell you not to treat our home like that and that when it comes to Ellenah, you should know better… shame on me!! These years, quite evidently go too fast so you should be free to play, it is good for you!! And, it isn’t always your fault that Ellenah gets hurt, she gives as good as she gets and I couldn’t stop her from playing rough with you if I tried, she loves you as much as we do! She looks up to you and wants you around all of the time, even when she pushes away your constant attempts at kisses and cuddles, if you stopped, she would wonder why!! Sometimes, I treat you like you are older than you are, sometimes you act it… From this point on, please just be five and I will take care of the rest.

You are growing up to be a wonderful, beautiful person. You have a good and pure heart. You are charismatic and kind… and so generous, like I will always give away my last Rolo… you will always give me a pink love heart from your Harribo Mix-Up. I hope you always stay that way… You really are perfect.

I am so happy to be the person you come to when you are sad. When you are sick, it’s me you call for. When you want to tell someone about you day… you choose me.