Dear Ellenah, my beautiful little girl. This is long over due. On the evening before each of your birthday’s, I will write you a letter… but on the evening before your fifth birthday, I couldn’t make it happen. I’m really sorry Sweetheart, it wasn’t because I don’t care. It wasn’t because you are not important. It wasn’t because I had…
Tuesday 13th December 2016 Today was our 12 week scan. The official one. The one with the warm gel that they plop on my lower tummy, the gel that gets everywhere… and the prodding until we see our little ray of sunshine on the screen. The one that we should have had first. I was ready for this one though.…
On Monday 21st November 2016, I was taken into hospital. It’s simple really… I needed help! I was in so much pain and hadn’t kept down food or even a sip of water in a long time. My eyes were grey. My lips were cracked. I kept crying. I couldn’t sleep. I was too hungry, starving really. My eyes wouldn’t…
Wednesday 16th November 2016 So after standing my family up on Remembrance Sunday because I was being sick every two minutes, I had to tell them why. I couldn’t lie anymore. I couldn’t make up any more excuses. I couldn’t keep it from them. I had a feeling that suddenly things were going to get a little harder in how…
So I’m six weeks pregnant. I feel like I should have started to believe this is all real by now, but I don’t. I remember feeling terrible by this point with my last two pregnancies. I was horribly sick, tired, spotty, pale and I generally was not winning by six weeks. This feels so different. My mind feels different. I…