The summer holidays started in the best way for my little family and me. As you grow up and older, knowing what makes you happy is so important, as is keeping things simple and smiling as often as you can. I don’t mean the kind of smile that is meant for anyone else’s benefit. I mean the smile that grows on your face because you are smiling from within. And I don’t mean the happiness that you are told to feel, I mean the kind of happiness that comes from knowing yourself, knowing what you like and endeavouring to always have it. When we bundled in to the car with our battered, outdoorsy clothes and very minimal other things for a few days away, I couldn’t wait to get on the road and make our way to our happy place. The place with the white cliffs that overlook the sea.…

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The hustle and bustle of London is less than an hour away from my sleepy home town. London is everything that Faversham isn’t. It is a place for the dreamers, the hopefuls and it is rife with opportunity…yet, there is a hint of failure that hangs in the air, a little desperation, a lonely sadness. Faversham is a quiet place! People don’t come here to make their dreams come true…but it isn’t lonely. I’ve spent time in London, before I became a mama…and not the touristy kind! Not like on this day when I came with my family. I’ve been present in a few scenes and London always makes me feel the same way about it. Like it’s the best place that I have ever been to… artistic, electric, historically superior and proud. It is somewhere that leaves me in awe and makes me feel excited in the pit of…

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Dear Matthew, Do you remember when we first met? Do you remember how as you sat, waiting for your interview, our eyes met from across the room and (okay, I’ll admit it) I tried to find reasons to talk to you. There was something wonderful hanging in the air. Maybe it was because I was putting up a Christmas tree but I think it was because we were meant to fall in love with each other. Do you remember how you got the job but by the time you had your first day, zesty, enthusiastic and I think, ready to meet me again… I had gone?! Do you remember how we used to talk about each other to mutual colleagues. Do you think that maybe we missed each other before we even knew each other? Do you remember when we met again? You couldn’t believe that all I seemed to…

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It was a Saturday. Saturday the 2nd of July 2016…A special one! The day my son turned seven. I woke up early, before anyone else…even the birthday boy and the sun was beating through my bedroom window. It was bright and warm and I lay there thinking of this day seven years back. I thought it would be a day, much like the others before it. A day when I felt heavy and hot in the closeness of summer. A day when I wondered if it could be ‘The Day’. The day when a tiny, new life would make me a mother for the first time and a brand new chapter could begin. Indeed, my new chapter began as I gave birth to my little boy Noah, in the bedroom of our home. It was the first one that we lived in as a family. I met him for the…

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Dear Noah, Tomorrow you are turning seven! Tonight I am sitting here having just written in your birthday card and I am surrounded by banners and balloons that say ‘Happy Seventh Birthday’ and it doesn’t feel like they belong in our home. I can’t look at the number and see you being this age. I feel like some time has been rather wickedly stolen from me and I will never see it again. But it’s all true. You will be seven. In just a few hours…and I am trying to catch up quickly. I need to catch up so that tomorrow morning, when you bundle in to bed with me and whisper that it is your birthday, I don’t fall apart. I feel like falling apart right now. My lips keep quivering quite hard, my eyes are full of tears…my face is a little contorted…because I am trying to push…

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